It’s my birthday today and I wanted to take a moment to connect with you. I’m big on birthdays and new year because it gives me space to assess where I am and where I want to be. Today, I’m doing lots of self-reflection, I’m feeling the feels and wanted to share how I move through days like this.

The big milestones, like a birthday, Christmas or Mother’s Day can be triggering. 

You feel happy, sad, grief and hope all at the same time. Happy to celebrate and be with friends and family. And sad not to be pregnant or holding your baby. You might feel grief for the baby you haven’t had yet and hope for the day that it will happen.

Thoughts start popping into your head, like: ‘It’s another year, my eggs are older and time is slipping away.’ 

It’s easy to get stuck down a rabbit hole and let these thoughts spiral out of control. 

How To Move Through ‘Not Being Pregnant Thoughts’

Here’s what I do when I find myself feeling sad, negative and stuck:

  1. Make Space For All Your Emotions

Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions and process what you’re feeling. This is counterintuitive because it’s hard to be with pain. The truth is that if you can breathe into your emotions and work with them, then you’ll be able to transform them much quicker.

  1. Stop Negative Thoughts

Interrupt yourself before you head down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts. The quicker you do this, the easier it becomes. As soon as you catch yourself making up a story, reliving a trauma, or being a victim, then be aware of your thoughts and interrupt yourself with your gratitude list: The 10 things you feel grateful for no matter what!

  1. Distract Yourself With Something Lovely

When negative thoughts start spiralling downwards, distract yourself by doing something that lights you up. It could be some stretching, walking in nature, taking a bath with a glass of wine, calling your bestie, stroking your fur-baby or getting a big hug.

Milestone Days Can Also Be Dream Days

A milestone day can make you think about what you’ve got and what’s missing. It can give you a new lease of energy, motivation and enthusiasm to go the extra mile, take a leap and reach your dream.  

Holding you in my heart today that your dreams and mine will come true this year.

All my best,

Rachel xx

Rachel Bolton BSc (Hons), Lic. Ac., Lic. Tui Na.

I empower women to see themselves as Fertility Heroes and help them to optimise their fertility, get pregnant and have healthy babies.  

Whenever you're are 3 ways I can help you.

1. Join the private Facebook group: Fertility Heroes. Get fertility tips, community and inspiration. Only the women in the group will know you've joined and see your posts.

2. Take the Quiz: Which Fertility Hero Are You? Discover your superpowers, kryptonite and get your 3-point fertility formula.

3. Complete the Checklist: Why Am I Not Pregnant Yet? Find out what is missing from your fertility and get a new strategy.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments